It’s the first Sunday of a New Year. 2014! When I graduated high school in 1987, I didn’t even THINK about it someday being 2000, much less 2014. We were partying like 1999 ’cause we thought the world would end in 2000, remember? Ugh. Many of you probably don’t. <sigh>
I have plans for this year. Big plans! In no particular order: I am going to lose more weight, I am going to simplify my life – starting with cleaning my house and limiting my possessions which should, theoretically, make it easier to keep clean. I’m turning off the TV and moving more, reading more and limiting the less than edifying choices. I am going to write more; I have a story to share and telling it will help me and just might help someone else. I’m going to plan meals so we eat better and less expensively – even though I will probably spend more for quality food to make those meals. I am going to interact more, and more actively, with Bryce. I am going to listen to and practice more music. I am going to take more time for friends.
<deep breath> Tall order.
Now, I am stalled. It’s January 5 and I am stalled. I had all these plans for Christmas break with Bryce, and while he was gone, and now there is nothing I can do to make a real dent in the mess before he gets home and “real” life begins again. So…I end up picking up one piece of trash only to move to another part of the room to pick up something and disappear to another part of the house to put it away where I get sidetracked by laundry or wiping the sink or…you see where this is going, right?
It’s the same as it always is – there is SO much that has to be accomplished before it will be obvious that ANYTHING has been accomplished – that I resign. I just sort of resign life (not in a suicidal sense), just in the sense that I have moved my attentions on to other things with which I can find a more immediate sense of accomplishment…writing a blog post, sending e-mail, reading a “check your brain at the door” book…
I’m stalling. I admit it – the work scares me. The physical work and the emotional work.
This time, though, I know I CAN do it. At least part of it. I have lost a LOT of the weight. I have been more active. I have written part of the story. I have taken a break; I have gathered my thoughts and I have made a recommitment. I have forgiven my slip and given myself permission to move on.
Will I succeed? Yes.
Will I accomplish that whole long list up there? Yes.
Will it be today? No. This week? No. This month? No.
This year? Probably not.
But I WILL get it done. I will work some, rest some and stall some. But aren’t those the seasons of life for most of us?
I have worked. I have rested. I have stalled. It’s time to work again.
What are you planning for your 2014?