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I spent some time working in my home last evening. I woke up this morning on a mission to get some stuff done before my sister arrives today.
Now, I am stalled. There is nothing I can do to make a real dent in the mess before she gets here so I end up picking up one piece of trash only to move to another part of the room to pick up something and disappear to another part of the house to put it away where I get sidetracked by laundry or wiping the sink or…you see where this is going, right?
It’s the same as it always is – there is so much that has to be accomplished before it will be obvious that ANYTHING has been accomplished – that I resign. I just sort of resign life. (not in a suicidal sense) Just in the sense that I have moved my attentions on to other things with which I can find a more immediate sense of accomplishment…writing a blog post, sending e-mail, making notes for a talk…
I’m stalled. I’m stalling. I admit it – the work scares me. I guess I’ll have to resort to the stories of my childhood…
I think I can. I think I can. I THINK I can. I think I can. I think I can….oh, <sigh> who am I kidding…
I MUST!
(Here I go…check on me later, will you, please?)
Faith Chaser 
I noted that you were trying to make a dent before your sister got there. Sounds like you were cleaning for her and not for you.
Probably so; however, at that point, my house was in such a state that it doesn’t much matter why. I am moving more slowly now but generally keeping up – which is an improvement 🙂
The only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. Sounds like – to me, a non- professional- you need to adjust your expectations. You say that so much needs to be accomplished before it will be obvious that anything is accomplished…. And so you don’t. What if your goal is to accomplish one task. Period. That’s it. Nothing huge, just get ‘er done. Making that check beside the word “done” is a satisfying feeling. If that’s all you have for today, it is still an accomplishment. Aim for another check tomorrow. If you find pleasure and satisfaction in marking off the tasks, well… You can see where this will lead.
Yes, Gigi…I know you’re right. But I’m a large woman and can take a pretty hefty bite of that elephant
Seriously, I KNOW you are correct. I have just let everything fall so far that I don’t even feel as if I’m living in my own home. It makes it tough to go slowly…and if I am too slow, the progress I made gets overrun while I try to tackle the next “bite”.
it’s part of the reason that my sister is coming…she can help me choose the best places to begin and she is great about cleaning out. I really think she should be a professional – this will give her some practice on a real challenge
Thank you for your support…I really do appreciate the kind words and thoughts!