Actually, I almost titled this post “Meet your docent”; however, the term docent implies a guide who actually knows something about the subject.  I’m not putting myself in that category.

Here’s what I AM:  I’m a mom.  I’m a friend.  I am a woman.  I’m a wife.  I am an ex-wife. I’m a daughter.  I’m a sister.  I am an aunt.  I’m a Catholic who belongs to the Methodist Church.  I am a missionary. I am an animal lover, a bibliophile and an aspiring guitarist and writer. I sing.  I make music in any way I can. I would like to be a singer but that hasn’t been in the plan.  Oh!  And I’m a Drama Queen!

Before I go any further, I feel as if I should explain that my use of the word “faith” does NOT imply religion. They are separate animals and I am sure one day soon, I will discuss religion; however, they can, and often do, exist separately.

I believe in God and His plans for us here and in the hereafter.  That makes me a Christian.  I am not a bigot.  I will share with you what I believe while embracing your right to believe whatever you like so long as you don’t hurt yourself or others in the process.  I won’t try to make you like me.  In the eyes of some, that makes me an unworthy Christian.  I think it makes me a worthy human and a devoted friend.

Faith is personal.  Mine is mine.  Yours is yours.  For some, faith is an ever-present force in their lives.  You know the people I mean; they have never known life any other way.  (Brings to mind Marx but that’s a concept well-beyond this post…another day, then.) While it is not for me to question, I wonder if they truly understand their faith.  I find it difficult to understand anything in a vacuum – I must know the opposition to truly know the position.  It is generally the ever-faithful (read: religious) who believe in evangelism for the sake of evangelism…something which I avoid at nearly any cost.

This whole experiment is designed (insomuch as it has a design at all) to assist in the process of my healing and growth.  As I have begun the reflection over my life – as it was, as it is and with hope for what it will be, I have come to the realization that I have always had faith.  I have not always been Christian.  I have not always been Catholic.  I am only recently Methodist and more recently still, a missionary (of sorts).  So what did (does) that faith look like and how do I create an environment which will allow, nay encourage, me to grow in faith and respect for diversity as I move forward? How do I replenish the Spirit that the world has spent 42 years trying to drain out of me?  That is my search…that is my goal…the reclamation of my Spirit.

It is important that I gain this understanding not only for my personal growth but also to foster that spirit in my son.  I want to leave this world better than I found it and one amazing way I will accomplish that goal is embodied in the truth that I am a mom a thoughtful mom.  Motherhood is my defining role.

God grant me the SERENITY to accept those I cannot change,
the COURAGE to change the one I can and
the WISDOM to know that it’s me.

Welcome to my attempt at demonstrating COURAGE…I hope you enjoy the show!

Margaret

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